nicole randomly speaks out of turn

I found out today my second Cousin was killed last sat in a car accident. I have not spoke to him in years. Not out of bad blood or anything it just seems my family tends to only associate outside of the immediate family when there is a death.
But it really made me start thinking. We never know when it's our time. I mean he was 18. 18! That's so young! It really kinda freaks me out that he had no clue, NO CLUE that he was about to die and them BAM! it's over. Death plays funny tricks on my mind.
I just need to remember to always say I love you, and never walk away angry.
It may be the last time you get a chance to tell that person how much you love them..

Ok so day 2 (technically 3) of coming off the Meds. My head has hurt alot , and I've felt a little loopy like I just couldn't quite get a grasp on things. But over all not as bad as I was expecting to be by far!
Cheers to being crazy pill free!

I'm starting on a new adventure today. I'm starting to wean myself off my medicine. In case you didn't already know I've been on medication for Panic Disorder for about 3 years know. I don't know where it came from but I woke up a few mornings ago and thought ok I'm ready to come off this stuff. So I started today.. I took half a pill. Which I will continue doing for the next week -two weeks. Then I will go down to 1/4. Then eventually to nothing. Wish me luck!

never mind. I don't want to take the time to transfer everything over here. That's kinda lame...So here's a link if you ever wanna see. http://lisanicoles.wordpress.com

After trying it out for two weeks... I have come to the conclusion. I love LJ. I really didn't like the wordpress blog as much. It did not have anything special that stuck out to me. So consider me back...I'm an official LJ user again..I'll transfer the wordpress blogs over here though so I can keep them..

I'm in the process of re-arranging my room. I love moving room's around. It gives it a completely different feel. It's like re-decorating for free.. Alan does not love it so much. He see's no point in changing things around, they are fine the way they are. But after living in a room that's EXACTLY the same for months and month I start to get burnt out. I NEED that change.. Ok Now to copy and paste those other posts into one BIG post on here...and to finish my room.

Ok as of now I will be posting on another Blog from here on at.

http://lisanicoles.wordpress.com/

Sometimes you really catch a grasp on how easy you have it. Simple things. Like sitting around with good friends.
Looking at the one you love, and realizing they really do think the sun set's and rises around you.
It a feeling that cannot be replaced.


I've spent to much of my life worrying about the future. And look at what I've got.
I'm blessed beyond what man can measure.
I have a wonderful Love, a great family, wonderful friends.
I'm still waiting for a few things to pan out, but I know that by God's Amazing grace and love it will all add up.

Sometimes when I sit back and reflect what I could be doing today it truly scares me.
Not many people know, but I used to be pretty heavy into drugs when I was younger. I got involved with a guy who i thought I really loved. I was SOO wrong. I now know what real love is.
Point is I followed him to Hell and back. I lost friends. I almost lost my family, and I defiantly lost touch with MYSELF for a long time. All I cared about was getting up, and getting high. God never let me out of his grasp. By his amazing GRACE I never ended up getting hurt, hurting someone, with a record, or dead.
I'll never forget when I finally knew I had to change. My mom forced me to go and talk to Pastor Cecil at the church we had been attending. I was so pissed at her. We went into his office and I had the perfect head nod, and face to agree. But my mind was fixed on a picture he had hanging in the back of his office on the wall.
It was a painting of two cities. There was a giant bridge in between them and one city was the image of our idea of Heaven, and one Hell. and in between the bridge was broke in half, and the people on hells side where trying every way possible to reach Heaven but could not. It really spoke to me.

So that picture technically helped make me the person I am today.
Not one word he said that day do I remember.
But I will never forget that picture.
It's amazing what God can do to speak to us.

To much is going on lately to make time to get on here it seems.
We just got back from a quick visit to Charleston Sc. It was SSOO nice down there.
We are actually going back for an overnight visit on Oct 3rd and 4th, but taking Candace and Michael this time.
Oh about Can and Mike. Only 9 more weeks until little Dallas is here to start spoiling!
I seem to always see stuff to buy him. I got him some super cute outfits today, and some cute stuffed animals.

( pictures... )

Not been going to the gym as much been focusing alot on fertility treatment options.
The Dr. want's us to try for a bit longer before we pursue them.
I'm more then excited for Dallas, but I know that once he get's here I will feel some jealousy in my heart. I mean I can't help it.
But I really could not be more happy for Candace.

( we've got something good going here )

( it's almost time for bed )

Wow I have not been on here in forever. Ok So what has been happening. Candace and Micheal moved in with us. It's been nice actually. Especially since they are expecting the baby in November that means lot's of spoiling time for me and my first nephew. We got a new Cat Annie, a new hamster named Zelda, and a new fish named Money bags. Your intrigued right? Other then that everything is the same in and out. Work, home, clean, live.

I've been back in the gym. I took a few weeks off and now i regret it my results started slipping. But we will get back! Oh this weekend...linville caverns im excited!

i had a great weekend doing nothing. Other then being sick to my stomach part. Candace and i watched WAY to much 16 and pregnant. And then we all watched knowing. It had a strange biblical feeling to it which i was suprised about. But it was def. good.

lJ i have not forgotten you. We just have had a lot on our plate. A lot of good but still ALOT

who made the rule that all the asheville tree hugging,recycling,peace loving idiots had to look all the same. Women to qualify must look like A. a dyke. Or B. someome who has no clue what soap does when it meets water... Nasty...

my house is freezing! Perfect to cuddle up with my daddy to be.

so we went to see my dad today. It was awkward as always... Then we rode on down to Fontana Dam. It was nice. The lake was so beautiful! Im thinking of me alan taking the Jet Skis down next weekend if the weather is nice! Hopefully the sun will be on out!

Im tired. Then Monday we go to get our land survey. I cannot wait until they start building the house! Plus i take the test in one week. Please have worked. Please have worked!

oh yeah and... can is having a boyl Dallas Aiden

babies and beers at the thirsty monk... hmmm thats just wrong. Plus... whos driving your baby home after your beers?